Where Were You When the World Stopped Turning?

As the 10 year anniversary of the September 11th terrorist attacks arrive this weekend, it has me thinking about that horrible day.  I am sure that many Americans are thinking of it along with me. I know that there are many remembrance ceremonies happening all weekend.  As I write this I feel a tightening in my chest...reliving the day in my memory and the feelings that I experienced that day.  I will never forget how I felt that day.  I don't think any American will forget that day...where they were and what they were doing as they heard the news. I will never forget the images of the towers burning and falling, the Pentagon torn apart and on fire and a plane crashing into a Pennsylvania field.  Heroes were born and heroes died on that fateful day.  Men and women who didn't know what they were going to face that day. Men and women who couldn't have imagined the courage they would muster. Men and women that will never be forgotten.

I was on my way to work and looking out my car window thinking to myself that it was such a beautiful September day; blue skies and only a wispy cloud here and there.  It was definitely much too nice a day to be going to work.  Then, on the radio, I heard that a plane had flown into the one of the towers of the World Trade Center. At first, all the reports were saying that it was a small single engine plane, but that was soon recanted and new reports started rolling in fast and furious.  I arrived at work moments later. We had no television there so I plugged in a portable radio and the entire office stood around listening in horror as the 2nd plane crashed into the north tower.  We realized quickly that the first plane crash was not an accident.  What was happening? Who would do such a thing?

The attacks had only just begun, there was more to come.  We were glued to any device that would clue us in to what exactly was happening.  We left work early and went to our homes and our families.  But even then, we were intent on the television, watching the attacks and abject destruction of life unfold before our eyes.

As the day unfolded it didn't get any better...people were trapped.  Police, fireman and EMT personnel became additional casualties to the list of all the people who couldn't get out of the towers and those who were on the four planes. It seemed to go on forever.  The casualties kept growing in number. It seemed that it would never end.  

In the days following the attacks which affected not only New York, Washington D.C. and Pennsylvania, but all of America.  Life would never be the same in America. Americans will never forget the attacks on our land, our people and our sense of peace.  People close to the towers would grab anyone and hug them as if clinging onto another for life. The adrenaline pumping furiously as they ran from the burning towers.  You could see it and almost feel it yourself as you watched on television.  They would grab someone tell what they saw and felt, how the ground shook and the skies darkened .  It was the same story over and over and still we watched, unable to turn away.

But even as buildings fell, people joined together. Untold numbers flooded into churches and synagogues to pray for the missing and lost and the families who were struggling with violent loss. Strangers gathered together to join in candlelight vigils for the missing and those souls that were lost.  Families flooded the streets putting up posters of their loved ones who were still missing.  It went on and on and we watched it for days and weeks on end, always hoping to hear of a miracle. Waiting.  This country pulled together as one like we had never seen before. We held hands, we hugged strangers and we prayed together.  We had compassion for our brothers and sisters, our friends and neighbors.

And suddenly it is ten years later.  Reports of an imminent threat have been heard on the news. Can Americans handle another attack on our land? On our families? Our sense of peace?  It has taken a long time to get to a place of peace again for so many Americans, especially those who lost loved ones.  But no matter what, this country will prevail.  It's values and principles have stood for over 200 years and it will rise against any threat to prevail. Our compassion and brotherly love will hold us together when buildings fall.  We did it when we were attacked on September 11, 2001 and no matter what happens we will stand together. We are anchored. We will stand as one. One people. One nation.

A while back I was reading in Samuel I about Hannah and how she trusted God with her innermost thoughts, the most intimate of her desires. It says that she anguished in her soul.  Hannah desired a son with everything she had. Back then barren women were considered to be under a curse from God. I never read the bible until after I was saved, but I have always felt a connection to Hannah.  I have known that anguish in my soul.

I had always wanted a child. God blessed me with a son when I didn't deserve being blessed...at least not in my own eyes, but God sees us through different eyes. My son is now 22-years-old. He was unexpected but I knew the moment I found out I was carrying him, my life would be different.  I know that I am blessed. I cannot imagine my life without him. Having a child completely changed my life, who I was back then and who I am today.  As I look back to the person I was over 20 years ago, I can definitely say I don't recognize her.  I was spiraling out of control.  I had made several choices about how I lived that were not the best for me.  But God knew what was best for me and what would turn my life around to Him. 

I always tell my son that he never has to wonder what his purpose is, being in this life, on this earth.  I know first and foremost God used him to save me.  God used a child to get my attention and to look at how I was living and what I was doing.  I have to say it worked.  I did a complete 180 degree turn around. I had to.  It was all about our survival, although I did not know it then.  I learned that it is never too late to trust in the Lord.  It is never too late to change.

God has always been the father for my son and the husband I needed.  Although for a time we both longed for that earthly father and husband, God showed us that He has a reason for what He does and He knows what will work for each one of us.  We have learned to trust in Him and know that He will let us know when the time is right.  He will let us know when change is coming.

God still has plans for me and for my son. He isn't done with either of us. My son wasn't put here just to save me, he was put here for so much more.  Those plans and purposes unfold daily. There is still so much we don't know, but we know that God has an interest in our lives, and only He knows where our lives will turn and change and what we will become.  He knows our innermost thoughts and desires and He wants us to be blessed.  We just have to hold on and let Him lead us where He will.