Someone started a post on Facebook which really got me started thinking, so I am revising the initial thoughts and ideas and expounding on them. Basically it got me thinking about how different things are for kids growing up today than they were for my generation growing up in the 20th century, specifically the sixties and seventies. We really did have it good back then even if we didn't realize it until we were grown up and facing the concept of raising our own children. But isn't that how it is with every generation? We all try to make things better for our own children, but they may be missing out on some of the simplest things in life. Maybe we really aren't making life better for them in the long run. Life's pace is so much faster than it was when I was a kid, and I got to be a kid. I had a childhood where I got to act my age and not grow up too fast.
When I was a child, my mother made me play outside and go looking for friends. She didn't drop me off at the mall and let me fend for myself. I had to tell my mother where I was going, who I was with and when I would be back. If it was hot, you went outside. If it was snowing, you went outside..and you stayed outside in that snow for hours until your cheeks were rosy and your hands were freezing...what a blast! There was hot chocolate waiting inside and we usually got to make maple syrup sundaes with fresh snow!
If my mom wanted me, she did not call my cell phone, she yelled out the door for me, and I had better be within hearing distance! I didn't have the Internet or a cell phone at my disposal 24 hours a day and I wasn't allowed to just use the phone any time I wanted...at least not till I was in my teens. I still had to be considerate and share the phone with others in the family...and we definitely did not take phone calls during meals! It could ring and ring and ring--my mom always said the phone was for her convenience not the callers...and she was right! In today's day of cell phones constantly ringing and not going anywhere without one, there are definitely times when I just DON'T want to answer it.
When the street lights came on, I had better be in the house...that was my curfew. When it was time for dinner, I had better be there and eat what was put in front of me. If I didn't eat it for dinner when it was hot, I had it cold the next day till it was gone. (I still have an aversion to split pea soup!) People were starving in China you know...how many of you heard that one growing up?! And guess what, it didn't kill me.
When I was a child, my mother made me play outside and go looking for friends. She didn't drop me off at the mall and let me fend for myself. I had to tell my mother where I was going, who I was with and when I would be back. If it was hot, you went outside. If it was snowing, you went outside..and you stayed outside in that snow for hours until your cheeks were rosy and your hands were freezing...what a blast! There was hot chocolate waiting inside and we usually got to make maple syrup sundaes with fresh snow!
If my mom wanted me, she did not call my cell phone, she yelled out the door for me, and I had better be within hearing distance! I didn't have the Internet or a cell phone at my disposal 24 hours a day and I wasn't allowed to just use the phone any time I wanted...at least not till I was in my teens. I still had to be considerate and share the phone with others in the family...and we definitely did not take phone calls during meals! It could ring and ring and ring--my mom always said the phone was for her convenience not the callers...and she was right! In today's day of cell phones constantly ringing and not going anywhere without one, there are definitely times when I just DON'T want to answer it.
When the street lights came on, I had better be in the house...that was my curfew. When it was time for dinner, I had better be there and eat what was put in front of me. If I didn't eat it for dinner when it was hot, I had it cold the next day till it was gone. (I still have an aversion to split pea soup!) People were starving in China you know...how many of you heard that one growing up?! And guess what, it didn't kill me.
You couldn't get away with much when I was a kid. Neighbors cared about what you did and let your mom know if you did something wrong. Why? Quid pro quo. Because they would want to be informed if their kids did something wrong too. Neighbors counted on each other. Today you might have lived next to them for years and still not even know your neighbor's name!
We didn't have a pool till I was in my early teens, so we played in the sprinkler and had a blast. We drank from the water hose which was usually just laying there on the ground. I probably ate dirt as a kid too...you know...remember mud pies? Who didn't make those? We survived. I also swam in a pond, walked home from school, did my chores first if I wanted to go outside, and babysat for 50 cents an hour! Don't even try the "My friends don't have to do chores!" act, because when it came to talking back, my mom didn't give a hoot what the other kids were doing...as she said "you are my kid and you'll do what I say!" I got punished, I got grounded and whatever punishment I had it was adhered to even if my mom wasn't home. My mom was the boss of me whether I liked it or not. Really. Most kids don't know what is good for them.
Hand sanitizer didn't exist, but you could sure get your mouth washed out with soap...and survive it. You learned pretty quick not to talk back or swear! Getting dirty was fine because you were going to take a bath and you did wash up before supper.
When I thought I wanted to try smoking in secret with my friends (filtered of course), I didn't get away with it. I got caught, and I paid a price for it. My mom made me smoke a non filter Pall Mall till I puked. That kept me away from cigarettes for a good 8 years! When I thought I could shoplift a pack of gum from the gas station down the street, my mother made me take it back and apologize to the owner...and I got grounded for a whole summer! We were definitely held responsible for our stupid mistakes..as it should be. Looking back I see that I wasn't very good at getting away with things.
When I thought I wanted to try smoking in secret with my friends (filtered of course), I didn't get away with it. I got caught, and I paid a price for it. My mom made me smoke a non filter Pall Mall till I puked. That kept me away from cigarettes for a good 8 years! When I thought I could shoplift a pack of gum from the gas station down the street, my mother made me take it back and apologize to the owner...and I got grounded for a whole summer! We were definitely held responsible for our stupid mistakes..as it should be. Looking back I see that I wasn't very good at getting away with things.
I would NEVER have thought about threatening my mother with calling the police. I hear of kids threatening their parents for the most inane reasons. I am not talking about legitimate reasons like child abuse, but just because you didn't like how you were being disciplined. There is a BIG difference. You couldn't get away with that when I was a kid. First of all, how was I going to make that phone call?? It wasn't my phone and I didn't have permission to use it. Secondly, I probably would have gotten my mouth slapped for saying even thinking it and then sent to my room without dinner. It didn't matter what time it was! I remember getting sent to bed quite early on some occasions. Maybe even gotten my mouth washed out too. I never dreamed of threatening my parents. I know I said other things that were completely out of line though and deserved the punishment. I got spanked when I had it coming and I didn't scream child abuse. Guess what? Still here. Survived it. Probably better for it.
I also didn't get an allowance. I wasn't entitled to it for the "work" I did around the house. I vacuumed, I dusted, I polished (yes, polished), washed floors and toilets, dishes and clothes. Those were called chores, and I did them because it was expected of me. It taught me responsibility. Again, I am definitely better off for it.
It wasn't all about what I couldn't do either. We spent time together as a family, not on computers or texting, but actually talking together and doing things together. We picked flowers and played hopscotch, jump rope, Mother May I?, freeze tag and Red Light Green Light. We lit sparklers on July 4th, we went camping together, we chased fireflies and we played board games. We rode our bikes or walked if we wanted to go somewhere. We made friends with our neighbors kids because we lived out in the country and that's who there was to play with.
It wasn't all about what I couldn't do either. We spent time together as a family, not on computers or texting, but actually talking together and doing things together. We picked flowers and played hopscotch, jump rope, Mother May I?, freeze tag and Red Light Green Light. We lit sparklers on July 4th, we went camping together, we chased fireflies and we played board games. We rode our bikes or walked if we wanted to go somewhere. We made friends with our neighbors kids because we lived out in the country and that's who there was to play with.
You know, last of all, I have to tell you, that while raising my son, (now 22 years old and a wonderful young man) I found myself sounding just like my mom sometimes. I would laugh at myself when I heard it coming out of my mouth and my mother would be rolling! I think it was the best gift I could ever give her! It is like she always said...wait till you have your own kids...you'll see. I love her enough to let her know whenever I hear myself saying something she said to me that I didn't like hearing as a child. And being the great mom that she is, she always laughed her butt off!! Thanks Mom, really. You had a part in raising my kid just as much as I did, because you taught it to me first...and I survived it. You always knew I would. I think I turned out pretty good despite my mom's loving tactics!! Today's parents should take a look backwards when raising their kids and remember what they were taught...it is the best thing they can do for their children..and guess what? They will survive it too.
Did you survive drinking from a water hose and getting punished when you did something wrong? I did. I want to hear your stories too!
P.S. I thought it was funny when doing a spell check the only two words that came up as problems were Facebook and texting! Hahahaha!
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